I like it when you're clingy...

Whenever I'd complain about my lack of luck finding a guy to share my time with, everyone would always tell me, "It'll come along when you least expect it". Can't say as though I ever believed that cliche, though. I tend not to listen what other people tell me or suggest to me, I've never really been good on receiving advice and only good on giving it. But, something did in fact happen when I least expected it. Imagine that. Shortly after my last entry nearly two months ago, I stumbled upon something. Something that at first, I wasn't even sure what it was. I at least knew something somewhat important, that I wanted to so badly kiss this guy. It wasn't until I was hanging over my toilet and vomiting that I confessed it out loud to one of my friends. Sadly, it took me quite a while to actually put that plan in action. If you want to get to using one more cliche, I suppose it is in fact better late than never. It was a guy who I had at least known of since I moved to New Jersey. We work together, so I saw him pretty often. We had a lot of the same friends, but he still never talked to me. Although younger than me, I was kind of intimidated by him. So I guess you could say that I really never, ever in a million years thought I'd end up with a crush on him. Let alone dating him. Forget the fact that maybe it's too early to tell, but I think he's very well one of the greatest things to ever happen to me.

While I've had my share of pretty good guys and pretty terrible guys, I don't think I've ever had one as good as him. He's not happy unless I have a smile on my face and if I don't have one, he knows what he has to do to get one there. He talks so nice to me, actually will take me out, and doesn't treat me like I'm just one of the guys... he treats me like his girlfriend. Novel idea, I know. I don't think there are enough adjectives in the world to describe him, and he puts up with my shit. That's saying a lot right there. I haven't been the easiest, especially the last few days. I'm in Rochester for my little cousins wedding and he's in New Jersey and I guess we got spoiled with spending basically every waking hour together and now I feel like I'm a raging bitch without him.

While life, for the most part is treating me really well... the Yankees are one big pile of misery. This series against the Red Sox has been a joke. They went on a hot streak there for a little bit, now they are just miserable. A-Rod and the wifey appear to be getting a split, in which you know she is going to make bank on. I just would love to know the real story behind this circus! You know the media will blame the Yankees poor play as of late because of A-Rod and the media attention he brings on himself and the team.

So, my cousin is getting married tomorrow and I'm in the wedding. This is the first wedding I've actually been part of, so I'm pretty excited for all of it. I'm sure I'll be standing up there crying along with her and all the other bridesmaids. I told her though there is no shot in the world she is getting me out there to attempt to catch the bouqet. I caught it at one of my other cousin's weddings like two years ago and clearly it didn't work the way it was supposed to. I'm not about to jinx this amazing thing that I have.

I'm not comfortable dating someone who isn't perfect...

It's been nearly a month since I last wrote, I fully blame it on the lack of inspiring things in my life. I've had a lot on my mind the last few weeks and I guess I've just now gotten to the point where I just needed to put it down and get it out of my head. The Yankees and their injuries are killing me right now. But, on the bright side, they are doing a whole hell of a lot better than they were last season at this time. That has to count for something, right? Or I just keep telling myself that to help me sleep better at night. Usually it doesn't work, though. The Cavs are in the playoffs once again. I'm a little disappointed that they didn't close out the series Wednesday night though. No reason they should be able to beat the Wizards and it would have been nice to see them close it out at home. There's always Friday and they better do it then. For some reason I don't get TNT though, so I can't even watch the games and it pisses me off.

Some new people moved in downstairs yesterday. The girl is actually related to the woman who lived downstairs before... they were an annoying couple. Loud sex, loud music, loud walking, loud showering... they just did everything humanly possible way too loud. I'm interested to see what these people are going to be like. I never asked my old neighbors to be quiet because I know my friends and I like to raise the deciple level a whole hell of a lot, too. Especially for our weekly Wednesday night events.

The situation with the male species hasn't changed for one moment and I really am not sure it's going to anytime soon. It got to the point where I stopped looking and stopped caring like everyone said I should and guess what? Nothing happened! Maybe there is this one boy, and this other boy. But that creates conflict that I cannot share. They both make me smile and make me really nervous. It's really not all that common that a boy has the ability to make me nervous and both of them happen to do just that. I don't like to really put myself out there, I don't like my feelings to be known and it's a struggle sometimes. It gets to the point where just being in the same room as a certain guy can make me extremely uncomfortable, if I like him. I don't like feeling that what someone else may or may not feel or think about me could impact me on so many levels. It's a scary feeling. I don't even know if I really am even looking for a relationship, I just want someone who's company I enjoy. Someone who makes me feel special. For once I don't want to have to be the one making the moves. I want a guy to just walk up to me, tell me I'm beautiful and kiss me. Then we can figure the rest out from there. If he's lucky and I'm lucky, he'll take my breath away.

Opening Day 2008

For me at least, waking up on Opening Day beats the feeling of waking up on Christmas morning. A fresh start for your favorite team. 162 games of amazing plays, stellar pitching performances, walk-off victories, and ridiculous highs and unfortunate lows are on the way. It's a sign that summer is on the way and that countless hours of sitting in front of the television or commutes to the Bronx are right going to be aplenty. Opening Day this year had extra special meaning for Yankee fans... the last Opener to be played in the historic, Yankee Stadium - the house that Ruth built. Next year it's off to the ballpark across the street, a brand-new Yankee stadium. I woke up on Monday in Manhattan with Shelli by my side, much like last season. But, at least this year there was no challenge that we had to complete to attend! We wished one another a happy opening day and began to call or text just about every Yankee fan we knew to wish them the same. There was so much excitement as we headed down to the Bronx. The one and only thing that could possibly put a damper on this perfect day was the rain, and rain it sure as hell did.

As the skies opened and rain fell down on the New York City area, we did what every legal aged Yankee fan did and took in the bar scene across from the stadium. Have to give mad love for Billy's because they gutted that place during the off-season and it's looking really good. Come All-Star Game it's going to be the best place to be the only place to be on River Ave! Well, you know... other than Yankee Stadium but what fans actually get tickets to the game without spending their life savings? None. We entered the stadium much later on, hours past the original scheduled first pitch only to hear the game was officially post-poned. I think it really took a lot of the excitement away from Opening Day. All we really needed at that point was a good nap, Indio's place provided an excellent venue for that.

Tuesday had Opening Night on tap for Yankees fans and while it was more than exciting to be there and I wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world (just ask my boss), but it didn't hold the same electricity as the day before or even Opening Day of last season. There we were, four former Road Trippers out in Right Field Bleachers, witnessing a historic moment in Yankee Stadium history. The beginning to the final season. The game was filled with memorable moments... Melky was surely the star of the night - two amazing plays in center and a solo homer to tie the game, Joba's (some would say controversial) display of emotions as he struck out two, and Mariano's grand entrance in the ninth. The game was everything a Yankee fan could have possibly wanted out of Opening Day. We got the victory and I got to reunite with four of the people who mean so very much to me.

Three games down, 159 left to go. 78 games left at Yankee Stadium. 2-1. Let's go Yankees!!

I've injured myself yawning...

Opening day is upon us and I could not be more excited. I am not too excited to know that Pettitte is going to begin the season on the DL, but I need to just keep reminding myself that baseball is a very long season and hopefully we’ll see him before we know it. I am just glad to see Wang as our opening day starter... I remember how hard so many of us laughed last year as Pavano was penciled in on the roster as the starting pitcher for opening day. Oh where is that man anyway? I suppose the further away he stays from the team, the better.

To get me even more excited for the impending season, Men’s Vogue decided to get me all hot and bothered by letting A-Rod grace the cover of their March ’08 issue. The Yankees are giving me much to be excited for this season, just like they do every single season. I think other than seeing what crazy things A-Rod can accomplish this year, I am totally stoked to see what Girardi can do with this team. I have been a huge supporter of the Girardi for Manager movement for years now. There was always something about listening to him commentate on the Yes Network that made me believe he’d be a fantastic manager. He proved it with the Marlins, let’s just hope he can work his magic with the Yankees. It’s time. 27 is on the way.

Lots of drama has ensued here in Jersey this past week or so - in all aspects of my life and really I took it all with a grain of salt and laughed in the face of it. I finally feel like I’m starting to settle in and get a bit more comfortable around here, so I have to take the good with the bad - however, at this point in my life I am choosing to concentrate on the good instead. I’d really prefer to keep it that way, too. It was most definitely a good week with some very, very bizarro and random moments but I think in general I’m in a pretty good place right now. I hope I can keep it on this pace.

Myself and the Season 3 Road Trippers celebrated an anniversary of sorts the other day. March 27th, 2008 marked one year ago to the day that we all moved into our apartment in Manhattan and embarked on the most amazing and insane journey of our lifetimes. I don’t think I could ever put into words what that whole experience was really like. Being on television was truly a unique experience that not everyone is mentally cut out for. If I could do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. Hands down the best job I will ever have had in my entire life. I still keep in contact with all five of them, some of them more than others - if you ever watched the show I am sure you could guess who I am not so close with. However, the five of them will always hold a very special place in my heart and no matter what happens to us or where our lives take us - I hold them all very close to me.

What makes me very happy right now is Danity Kane’s new album. These girls are amazing, beautiful and ridiculously talented. If you don’t have it, you need to download it, buy it or whatever... just put some DK into your life. You will not regret it. Oh and JabbaWockeeZ winning America’s Best Dance Crew equals happiness as well. This has been literally all over the place, so for now I’m out.

To hell with all that rubbish...

Kyle Farnsworth isn't wasting anytime rubbing people the wrong way this season. He spoke out and blamed Joe Torre for his shortcomings during his first two years in Pinstripes. Even my unconditional love for this 100-MPH throwing lug couldn't keep me from laughing my ass off when I looked over the New York Post's back-page today. Oh Kyle... now you really need to put your money where your mouth is and have a fantastic year in the Bronx. You know even if he does have a good year, he's not going to get the benefit of the doubt because it's his free agency year - you can't win either way, Farnsy! So far the Yankees are off to a 3-3-1 start in the Spring, not that it really counts for squat but it's always fun to watch and get ready for the season which is only twenty-three days away, but who's counting?!

While I was trying to look busy at work today, once I was done reading about Kyle, I was pleased to see the girl everyone loves to hate, Heidi Montag gracing the cover of US Weekly. What pleased me even more was to find out that Spencer may have possibly cheated on her, but sadly it sounds like they are still together. I am sure I'm not the only one who is beyond excited about The Hills coming back on March 24th. By the trailer for the upcoming season, it looks to be filled with drama to the max. For now I'll continue to enjoy one of my favorite MTV shows these days, America's Best Dance Crew. This show is ridiculous! Last night they dedicated the episode to the 25th Anniversary of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' - JabbaWockeeZ killed it! They better win. Iconic was repping it for Jersey and I think one of my friends and I may actually start going to classes at their complex here.

Life in Jersey has been so far, so good. Sometimes I get a bit down, though. I've met people, nice people, but no one that I could really consider a good friend. I miss having a friend to call over or go to the movies with or shopping or just sit around and do nothing at all with, but still have fun. I think that is probably the one thing that I wish I had the most living here on my own. As far as the guy situation goes, there's been plenty of potential love interests, but nothing ever really pans out. I can find something wrong with every guy, I swear. You're still in College? Peace out. You don't like Sports? Enjoy free agency. You smoke so much pot I'd get a contact being around you? Turn-off! You are by far the biggest nerd this side of the Mississippi? No thanks, Poindexter. You already have a girlfriend and are leaving for Iraq in two-months? I'll pass. Okay, I think you get the picture. These are the obstacles I have been facing with all these Jersey boys. It's tragic. However, right now I'd like to think I've found a diamond in the rough of Jersey boys - I can only hope something may work out. For now, that's all I'll really say. I'm trying not to get any of my hopes up, even though it's definitely hard sometimes. I'll just continue to fight with myself, picking up my phone to text him and then setting it back down, rinse and repeat about twenty times, but never saying a damn thing. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please. As your reward, listen to this and I promise you will become equally as addicted as I am.

To Boston, with love!

After a week spent wrecking havoc on the city of Boston, I had come to many conclusions about that city and the people that inhabit it. Some of these things I had already been privy to and some I was just finding out. Now, I don't want any of you Boston or Massachusetts residents to get all in a tizzy about anything, it's all in love. You know, how do you say... To Boston with love!

• Worst Drivers in America: You hear horror stories about the roads in Jersey and people may feel the need to put on a pair of Depends to drive in New York City, but let me tell you lovely folks... there is nothing worse than a Massachusian behind the wheel. Best word to describe their wreck less driving style: OBLIVIOUS. Never in my life have I seen people just weasel their way into an intersection to just sit and wait, holding up traffic - mind you, hoping and praying someone will let them in. They change lanes without any care in the world - using no signal and not changing quickly, but slowly meandering into your lane. Jersey and New York drivers actual go about things in a quick manner and with purpose. I felt like I was on the roads surrounded by hundreds of retired Florida residents in their Buick's.
• They believe they are on the payroll: It's nearly impossible to talk sports with these people. They make highly educated statements like "Yankees Suck", "The Yankees haven't won anything". While we did come across few fans who would be reasonable, they sure were few and far between. Listen, you love the Red Sox - I get it. In fact, I don't think I could possibly get it more... I feel the same way about the Yankees. However, you would not hear me saying such idiotic things about your beloved team because you know what? The Red Sox do not suck. They haven't truly sucked in many years. Teams that "suck" do not make the playoffs on a consistent basis. If the Yankees "suck" I would love to hear what you have to say about the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Don't take it to heart that I do not share the same love for your team as you do - agree to disagree and let's have a light-hearted baseball talk. Without the rivalry would baseball really be even half as interesting? No, didn't think so! Worry more about your own team, bask in their two World Series victories in the last four years and worry less about how bad the Yankees "suck" and how they have not won anything. You'll sleep better at night, I promise. Hank Steinbrenner spoke oh-so-beautifully about Red Sox Nation just today and I dig that about him.
• Lots of Men: Here's where the city gets a point in it's favor. We were out almost every single night I was there - or we made a valiant effort anyway and my god... there is surely no shortage of men. Of course there are the less than desirables but there is something about Boston men. They are rugged, All-American types that you can definitely take home to mom. This city is loaded with yummy eye-candy. For that I salute you, Boston!
• The lady's fashion-sense is about 10-years behind: I mean I totally dig the ribbed, Old Navy sweaters... on my mother. I'm not talking every lady in the city, but the foxy ones seemed to be few and far between. I remember someone making this very same observation when we were in Boston for the numerous baseball games we attended last season, but seriously girls. The tapered jeans, the hair scrunchies, the mock turtlenecks... horrific. I mean I don't really consider myself much of a fashionista, but it was very empowering when the two of us made other women uncomfortable just by our sheer presence in a room. If looks could kill, we'd certainly both be dead right about now.

I am sure there are many things I am leaving off this list - but you get the general idea. I had a blast in Boston, it's by far my 2nd favorite city in the country (after New York City - of course) and I plan on visiting quite often... maybe Danny Wegman will hear our cries and open a store there so I can relocate - that would be glorious! I had my first day back at work today and it felt good to hear everyone ask where I had been or how my trip was, always lovely to feel missed! Hard at work tonight, I was blown away by how adorable Nicole Richie's little girl is. Speaking of little girls... how is Cynthia Rodriguez not due to give birth to the newest Baby-Rod until April? Poor woman looks like she is about to bust at the seams. On second thought... she does get to fornicate with Alex, so maybe I don't feel so bad for her after all.

Allow myself to introduce .... myself.

In the past twelve months, my life has been anything but predictable. Last year at this time I was preparing myself for the possibility of leaving life in Rochester, NY and moving to New York City for five months. I was waiting to hear back if I was indeed going to be chosen to take part in the Yes Network reality show, Ultimate Road Trip: Season Three. March 27, 2007 I moved into an apartment off of Broadway with five total strangers, and since that very day my life has been totally altered. I left the show in Late August and upon my return to Rochester, I realized life would never go back to the way it was during the 24-years that I lived there. To put it mildly, I was not a happy person. About two months after I returned home, I packed my bags and relocated with my company and moved to Central New Jersey. Everyone told me how brave I was to make sure a big move all by myself, and I never really even thought of it as a big deal and I guess it never really occurred to me how difficult it would get at times. When it all boils down to it though, I am really proud of myself for doing what I had always wanted to do with my life.

I’m sitting on my friend’s couch in Boston, watching Making the Band 4 (Props to Day 26 – Q is from the Roc) and really just dreading going back home to Jersey tomorrow. I have to go back to work after a week off and it’s surely something I am not looking forward to. I’ve worked for the same company for 10-years and I am really ready to put myself out there and do something different with my life. As life rolls on, I sometimes recall things that I wanted to do with my life when I was a little girl. I think at one point or another I wanted to be just about everything under the sun – A dolphin trainer, an astronaut, a police officer, a marine (for those who really know me – that is a hysterical thought), a photographer, a fashion-designer, an MTV Vee-Jay… you name it, I wanted to do it. I may not be a lot of things but one thing I’ve always prided myself on is the fact that I am very self-aware. I know exactly who I am, what I want and what I need to do to get what I want. I’ve never been afraid to take chances, and I need to make sure I continue to be that way. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it in the end.

Last night my friend and I took in a little NBA action at the Garden – Celtics vs. Cavaliers. While it was truly one of the worst games I have ever seen the Cavs play in, it was a historic event as King James became the youngest NBA player to record 10,000 points. Now who really wants to argue with me that Lebron couldn’t hang with Jordan back in the day? I didn’t think so. Let’s all take a moment and realize we are currently witnessing a man who, when his career is done will more than likely be considered the best player in the game. Just like what Yankee fans need to realize about Alex Rodriguez. Be thankful that man is putting on the pinstripes. But, guess what? 31 days until Opening Day, the final Opening Day at Yankee Stadium. In the meantime, please keep Bobby Murcer in your thoughts and prayers.

Somehow I'll manage to get my ass back to New Jersey. Maybe.